|1.0 PURPOSE||Page 3|
|2.0 DISCUSSION||Page 3|
|3.0 REFERENCES||Page 4|
|4.0 LIMITS AND PRECAUTIONS||Page 4|
|5.0 PREREQUISITES||Page 5|
|6.0 PROCEDURE||Page 6|
|6.1 LOGA - Loss of Gravity Accident||Page 6|
|6.2 LOAA - Loss of Atmosphere Accident||Page 7|
|6.3 LORA - Loss of River Accident||Page 7|
|6.4 LOMIA - Loss of Management Integrity Accident||Page 8|
|7.0 PRESTARTUP CHECKLIST||Page 9|
|8.0 SHUTDOWN CHECKLIST||Page 9|
|9.0 DATA SHEETS||Page 9|
The intent of this procedure is to provide guidance for the use and operation of the Improbable Event Monitoring System and its associated interface with the Emergency Environment Restoration System.
The Improbable Event Monitoring System (IEMS) constantly interrogates all the known environmental parameters at the Power Plant and searches for certain improbable combinations. Once these unique combinations of inputs are identified, and appropriate signal is sent to the Emergency Environment Restoration System (EERS) which performs the correct restorative process to bring the affected parameters into line.
The IEMS interrogates the following points to determine an Improbable Event:
4.0 LIMITS AND PRECAUTIONS
The IEMS and EERS are extremely powerful systems. Great care must be exercised to avoid inadvertent actuation or intentional misuse.
The GMS shall not be utilized to maintain an artificially low acceleration due to gravity. Although this system could be used to render objects lighter, thus facilitating the rapid construction or erection of scaffolding and buildings or the movement of heavy objects, this practice is heavily frowned upon.
There is no credance to the rumor that the GMS will be used to induce a negative gravity environment in the reactor building to raise the reactor head and plenum, thus bypassing any required Polar Crane testing, although this could prove to be a novel approach.
The RMS shall not be used to move the Sockquehanna River to a more convenient location without the written consent of the affected land owners, the Pennsyltucky EPA, the NRSee Advisory Board, Neopolitan Edison and Filthydelphia Electric Company who have a vested interest in maintaining the river in its current location due to its proximity in relation to the Hydroelectric stations at Safe Barbor, Coltwood, Konowingo and the nuclear station at Apricot Bottom.
The MIMS shall not be used to maintain an artificial status quo or stability in upper-level management. Management must be shifted at least once a month, whether it needs it or not.
For verification purposes, obtain the following:
6.1 LOGA-Loss of Gravity Accident
Any of the following indicate a reduction, complete loss of, or a reversal of gravity on the Island.
Operators or other personnel appear to be walking on air. See also-"Mind Altering Substance Memo."
Operators or other personnel appear to be walking on water. Disregard if subject sited appears to be Jesus Christ or Adm. Hyman Rickover.
It is rumored that high level Bochtel employees have this capability normally.
Receipt of "Unit 2 Lo-Lo Gravity Alarm" and indication on the Unit 2 Gravimeter that gravity is dropping off.
Clouds, Moon or Sun appear to be drifting away.
Inability of loose objects or sleeping operators to remain at rest. (Significant drift of chairs, calculators, plant operators in any direction from the desired setpoints)
Verify that two or more of these conditions exist before manual activation of the Gravity Maintenance System.
Symptom 6.1.1.e is sufficient evidence for identifying a LOGA. Immediately activate the GMS so as to keep excessive loss of essential property and personnel to a minimum.
If the LOGA appears to be localized to the Radwaste Storage area, take no action. Loss of radwaste is of no concern to the utility.
If the LOGA appears to be isolated to the NRSee offices, Bochtel or Catalatic trailers and offices, take no action. Loss of NRSee officials or Bochtel and Catelytic employees is of no concern to the utility.
Verify by remote video camera that the core void has not moved to the bottom of the core. This could result in an unstable core configuration.
Assess loss or damage to plant and personnel. Write appropriate Work Orders's for repair of equipment and contact personnel about possible positions made available as a result of the accident.
6.2 LOAA-Loss of Atmosphere Accident.
Any of the following indicate a reduction in oxygen content or a severe loss in atmospheric pressure.
Shortness of breath.
Do not confuse with lunch time joggers.
Pale or blue complexion.
An unusual number of lifeless bodies are strewn about the site.
Low flying or plummeting birds and planes.
Take into account the normal approaches to the airport-planes only, birds have no use for an airport.
Upon verification of any of the preceding, immediately activate the Atmospheric Maintenance System.
No provision is made for restoring the atmosphere to the NRSee trailers and offices.
The Management Integrity Maintenance System interlock may auto-fail the atmospheric restoration in the Administration Building so as to initiate a high level management turnover. Do not interfere at this time.
Assess damage or loss of personnel and inform Human Resources of the positions now available at Unit 2.
Inform the NRSee Headquarters that we require new On-Site Inspectors and have the old ones removed.
Call Adm. Hyman Rickover and offer him a position in utility's management on the site.
6.3 LORA-Loss of River Accident
Any of the following indicate a loss of river water, river bed, or the entire Sockquehanna Basin.
No water in the river. Several methods of verification.
Objects thrown into the river cause no splashes or ripples.
An unusual number of boats appear to be stuck in the mud.
Swimming has become exceedingly slow and tedious.
Reports of major flooding East of Rt. 13. In this case someone has moved the river. Have them put it back.
Upon verification of any of the preceding, immediately activate the River Maintenance System.
If the riverbed is intact, but no water is flowing, the river is broken. Write a Work Order to have it fixed. Use QC parts only.
If the entire river is missing and it cannot be found, submit a request to have a new one purchased and installed. This should be a Priority 1 job.
6.4 LOMIA-Loss of Management Integrity Accident
Undefined at this point. Even the NRSee seems to be confused on this point. These concerns usually manifest themselves during rumors of a Unit 1 restart.
In order to placate the NRSee, weekly management shuffle should be scheduled. This has proven to be the most effective fix in the past.
Should step 6.4.2.a fail to rectify matters, hire a highly respected retired admiral from the Nuklear Navy and offer to donate large quantities of money, in small unmarked bills, to his favorite charity. Have him then conduct his own independent and unbiased investigation into the current set of allegations. This method has proven extremely effective in the past.
If all else fails, change the name of the company. Names not to use:
8.0 SHUTDOWN CHECKLIST
Test water with finger. If it's cool, it's shut down.
9.0 DATA SHEETS
None. Never put it in writing.